The man who was going to kill himself

The man who was going to kill himself washed his cup at work,
Otherwise they would just let the remains of his final
drink stagnate.
Like his life.
The man who was going to kill himself sat back at his desk
and looked around at the idiots who thought they were
Still alive.
The man who was going to kill himself turned off his computer
and left early,
Knowing that he would not have to make up the time,
The man who was going to kill himself walked by the
reception desk,
“Have a good weekend, see you on Monday” said the receptionist,
The man who was going to kill himself just smiled,
Knowing that he wouldn’t be alive on Monday,
He would be somewhere,
But not here.
The man who was going to kill himself caught the bus home,
To where it was going to happen,
He poured a large scotch and looked at the bottle of pills,
They rattled as he rolled the jar in his hand,
They would find him days later,
Slumped there in that chair,
Or on the floor,
Dead as a doornail,
The man who was going to kill himself took the lid from the
Jar and poured the pills into his hand,
They looked like mints,
He inhaled,
A dog barked in a nearby garden,
A T.V played loudly next door,
He exhaled,
The man who was going to kill himself changed his mind.

They might as well name this town after you

I want to reclaim this town for myself,
Because everywhere reminds me of you,
I want to walk these streets without missing you next to me,
I want to enter these buildings and not feel the pain that I won’t see you,
These landmarks bring nothing but regret,
They might as well name this town after you.

How old are you?

Argument

Being drawn into another pointless argument,
There always has to be a problem,
Something you’ve done that they don’t like,
It doesn’t matter how petty it is,
You try to play it down,
To clear it up quickly and get on with your life,
But they don’t want it cleared up,
They want it to go on,
To damage you,
But it damages them more,
They don’t want to hear your reasoned argument,
And they can’t handle it when you snap and tell them what
You really think,
Why do they want to ruin the moment?
Why do they want sustained friction?
A bad atmosphere provoked unnecessarily,
It doesn’t have to be like this,
What’s wrong with these people?

Alan

Zombie

I heard that he had terminal cancer,
This once tormentor of mine,
I remember how I hated him,
He made me feel like dirt,
Stupid,
But since I heard that he has just months to live,
Only fond memories come flooding back,
Us laughing and feeling like we were getting away with murder,
I was a part of his world,
On the inside,
Protected,
I remember the times it was just him and me,
Deprived of an audience he did not mock me,
He seemed ill at ease,
Shy even,
He visited me in dream last night,
He was a Zombie,
His skull was visible and his flesh was hanging,
“But you’re dead?” I said stepping back in alarm,
He sneered at me,
Looking to see that someone would hear his next line,
His eyes twinkled “That’s right mate but I’d sooner be dead than be like you!”

My Grandma’s Wallpaper

My Grandma’s Wallpaper was very bad,
Put up by my father in 1972,
The year of my birth,
It remained until she went into a care home suffering from dementia
thirty five years later,
As her only grandchild I was very spoilt,
Her flat was full of love, fun and comfort,
Much better than my parents house,
Which had rules,
I wept as I took that last look at her flat,
Nothing remained but that wallpaper,
That would be torn down by council decorators,
While they talked about football or women,
Men who could not have known or cared that this small space
Meant so much to me,
And is a part of my life which is gone forever,
I loved my Grandma but she is gone,
She could not have lived forever.

Blame

There’s got to be someone to blame,
Someone to hate,
Machinery cannot be emotionally crippled,
Blame the operator,
Do not take human error into account,
It waters down the hatred,
There must be no other reason than absolute neglect,
Almost as if it were deliberate,
There’s always got to be someone to blame.

Those were the days

Reminiscing.
Those were the days.
It was so much better back then.
Was it really?
No.
It wasn’t was it?
Those days were as bad as these but for different reasons.
Eventually these days will be looked back upon..
“Those were the days!” you will reminisce fondly.
Stick it up your arse.

Fish and chips

Flickering

His armchair,
Her armchair,
The light from the T.V flickering
On their faces,
They watch expressionless,
Minimal conversation,
It disturbs the viewing,
Every night the same,
In front of the plastic box,
Silent,
She goes to bed,
He watches till late,
Expressionless,
The light from the T.V flickering on his face.

You hear her first

Her head pecks as she screams threats,
Better shrink away unless you want to die,
Her pretty face contorts into an ugly sneer,
That’s how she gets things done,
How everyone she knows gets things done,
The law is an inconvenience,
There to protect the cowards,
Like her neighbours,
And the social workers,
Granddad used to hit Nan,
Mum fell into a bottle of vodka and didn’t come out,
And Dad fucked off one day,
Just like her manners.

Envy

Holiday photos

The facts of life

They sat their ten year old son down to tell him the facts of life. They had put it off for a long time but it was about time he knew. His father told him that life was not fair and that people cheat and lie and do not feel any guilt about doing it. His mother explained that he would have to be prepared to sacrifice all of his principles if he were to survive. As an after thought they told him about reproduction.

Apathy bites

People spend their whole lives desperately trying to produce something to justify their existence. However, when they do have an achievement to show off they realise that no one wants to look at it.