1000 contestants



1000 contestants in a lifelong bullshit talking competition,
A tidal wave of empty talk comes flushing out of their mouths,
The love of melodrama,
The hard done by stories,
The way they think that bad luck only comes to them,
The pretentious chest puffin trips,
So important for no apparent reason,
Smug with nothing to be smug about,
Trying to impress with nothing impressive,
All handing out the free advice,
With mock conviction in their eyes,
You can find yourself almost believing what they say,
Then you snap out of it,
I know I’m hopelessly outnumbered,
They’re out there waiting to speak to me,
To try and educate me,
To inflict their shit on me,
I try to desensitise myself but they always find new
Ways to creep in the bullshit dialogue,
Turn your brain off and give it to me;
What’s your latest accusation?
What’s your latest denial?
What’s your latest hang up?
What’s your latest paranoia?
What’s your latest neurosis?
What’s your latest excuse?
Don’t worry about logic,
Don’t worry about reality,
Don’t worry about fact,
Don’t worry about the unlikelihood of what
You say actually happening,
Don’t let these things cloud your argument,
100000 contestants in a lifelong bullshit talking competition
all regurgitate their well practiced spiel,
I should be grateful for all the free entertainment.

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About the author

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I have previously been published in the following UK and international magazines: Rollingstone, Revolver, Loaded, Kerrang!, Metal Hammer, The Metro newspaper, Got a question answered in Dr Ozzy book, a regular in the profanisaurus pages of Viz and his poetry has also been read on the radio.