****
Give me something to worry about,
I can’t allow myself to be totally happy,
There must be something to spoil it,
A problem presents itself and I handle it badly,
No possible solution,
The end of the world,
But when I find that the problem is gone I’m
still not satisfied,
Something has to take its place,
I need new worries,
I just can’t enjoy myself all the way,
There always has to be some shit on the ice-cream,
Don’t tell me you are any different.
****
They want to upset,
I wish I could shut them out,
But even the most untrue remarks can pierce the armour
sometimes,
Some days they can get you almost as bad as they want to,
You try to not care but the bastards can be so low that it’s impossible
to ignore them,
You think you are getting better at dealing with them,
But then they really stick the knife in,
They remind you how vulnerable you really are,
That you’re not as emotionally tough as you would like to be,
You eventually harden to certain situations but you can never be
fully prepared,
They can hurt you,
You do care.
****
If only I knew then what I know now,
Hindsight screams out that you have fucked up,
Hindsight turns you on yourself,
Looking back is a bad habit,
The successes get forgotten,
The good times are unclear and poorly
remembered,
The failures are crystal clear,
Every tiny detail intact in the memory,
Hindsight is an enemy,
Treat it as such.
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